babies were throwing up all over the place
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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