He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
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I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
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I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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