he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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