just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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