How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
