apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize