Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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