dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
