Don't make out with my wife yet
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize