Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
