Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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