I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
