I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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