who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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