youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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