is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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