I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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