So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
