Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
