: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
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He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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