just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
