have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
