i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
