I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
