Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
