Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I party with great urgency now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
