i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
