I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
