o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize