I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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