the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
