My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize