If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize