and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You ruined the universe
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
