3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Oh god it's open bar.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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