Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
