ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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