I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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