so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
