As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
