I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
