Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think your dad took our porno
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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