yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
