she was so not down for the gang bang
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
