bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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