could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
