my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so let's talk penis.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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