You really coming over, don't trick.
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
