she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
