he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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