My nipple is on Facebook.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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