using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Just puked most of my soul out..
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