so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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