Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
