i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
