it was like having sex with a tree stump
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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