Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
